


a hell of a lot better than expected

by partiallydeadprince (uncreativecucumber)



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Mentions of dysphoria and transphobia, Modern AU, Trans Male Character, al is always right, ed doesn't know how to deal with emotions, theres like literally no context given at all its just porn guys, transboy ed elric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 06:05:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12764703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uncreativecucumber/pseuds/partiallydeadprince
Summary: “What am I even supposed to say to him? ‘Oh, hey, sorry Roy, I just wanted to let you know that your boyfriend doesn’t actually have a dick and he’s been lying to you about it for over half a year’? That’s gonna go over great, thanks for the advice, guys!”Roy doesn't know Ed is trans. Ed, on the other hand, doesn't know how much Roy loves him.





	a hell of a lot better than expected

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on ao3, so please be gentle! 
> 
> A disclaimer: I myself am a trans guy, so I'm writing about Ed's experiences based on my own. Not all trans people think/act/feel what Ed does in this fic, but I promise I'm writing from a place of personal concern and care.
> 
> Also, in case you're wondering, Ed's intended to be around 20 in this fic (Roy around 35).

The first time Ed and Roy have sex, it ends with Roy coming in Ed’s mouth and Ed swallowing like a champ.

That’s the thing, though. It ends there.

Roy’s a sight for the eyes, hair tousled, shirt off and pants halfway down, neck and torso covered in hickies (he’s going to have to invest in some makeup or Havoc and Breda will have a field day with that). Ed, meanwhile, is entirely clothed and entirely too put together.

Roy makes up his mind that this is a grievous sin, and reaches his hands to divest Ed of his shirt – to which Ed makes a sharp and displeased sound, and immediately grasps Roy’s wrists. Roy makes a face somewhere between hurt and confused.

“Is something the matter?” Roy asks.

“N-no, nothing. I’m good is all. You don’t have to do anything.” Ed puts on a grin that doesn’t really reach his eyes.

“Was that…not good for you?” Roy ventures, brow creased.

“Fuck, no, that was great. You were great. I’m just not in the mood today, okay?” Ed’s still giving him that halfway smile.

“If you’re certain,” Roy says, sounding uncertain himself.

“I am.”

“Can I at least get some post-coital cuddles?” Ed grins, and this time and it’s bright and full.

“Hell yeah.” And so they kiss and curl together and it’s perfect – or almost perfect. Something’s still bothering Roy. Maybe it’s the way Ed flinches when Roy’s hands get to close to his waist, or maybe how he always leaves the room to change into his PJ’s. But something’s off about Edward Elric, and Roy doesn’t intend to press the issue, but he hates this unspoken fear lingering in the air between them. The last thing Roy ever wants to do is hurt him, knowingly or not. But he’s not going to figure it out tonight, so he files away the information for further review and lets sleep take him away.

* * *

 

“Roy’s starting to get suspicious.” Ed announces as he walks into his living room the next day. He just got home from Roy’s place, and Al and Winry are sitting on the couch, Al draped in cats and Winry holding someone’s leg. A typical afternoon in the Elric household.

“What do you mean?” Winry asks, head cocked to the side.

“I mean, I won’t put out and he asked me what was wrong.”

“Just tell him, brother.”

“Fuck that, Al,” Ed says, “I’d rather just end it already.”

“No, you wouldn’t, because you’re in love with him and too stubborn to admit it and there’s no way I’m gonna let you to let go of the one nice thing you’ve ever allowed yourself to have.” Damn Al, always getting straight to the point.

“He’s right, you know!” Winry adds, pointing her wrench emphatically. Ed shoots her a glare. What a traitor.

“Look, I’m just trying to avoid what happened last time. And the time before that. And the time before that. Don’t you guys like me how I am? Y’know, in one piece?”

Al sighs, and looks a little guilty. He gently moves the cats off of him and stands. “Ed, of course we want you to be safe. But do you honestly think Roy would hurt you? He’s head over heels for you, Ed. As much as you loathe to admit it, he really cares about you.”

“Yeah, well, I thought the others did, too!” Ed snaps. He’s losing his patience at this point. How can they not see the position he’s in?

“I know,” Al says softly, puts a gentle hand on Ed’s shoulder, which pisses him off a little. He hates when Al acts like he’s fragile, like he’s about to break into little pieces at any moment.

“Listen, I’m lucky enough Roy puts up with me now. Most people back off after they see the automail.”

“Clearly he has good taste,” Winry says, “my automail is beautiful.”

“Fuck off, Win, I’m being serious.” Ed flops on the couch and groans, covering his eyes with his arm. “What am I even supposed to say to him? ‘Oh, hey, sorry Roy, I just wanted to let you know that your boyfriend doesn’t actually have a dick and he’s been lying to you about it for over half a year’? That’s gonna go over great, thanks for the advice, guys!”

Al sighs. “Just think about it, brother. I know it would mean a great deal to Roy if you told him. You should give him a chance.”

“Not everyone shares your experiences. When I found out about Paninya, it didn’t affect our relationship at all.” Winry adds.

“That’s because you grew up with me as your best friend. Most people aren’t like you guys, you know? You’re different.” Ed sighs.

“We love you too, brother.” Al smiles. “Just think about it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ed stands and makes his way towards the door. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m hungry. Takeout okay?” Al and Winry exchange a look, but they just nod, and soon there’s Xingese food and laughter at the table and the conversation is all but forgotten.

* * *

 

The fifth time it happens, Roy can’t keep quiet any longer. Ed just gave Roy the world’s best head and now he’s wiping his mouth off and getting ready to stand up to go to the bathroom and change, woefully still dressed and only slightly disheveled. Roy catches his wrist to stop him from getting up.

“Ed?” Roy asks slowly, “is something wrong?”

Ed lets out a nervous cough. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just that…” Roy stops for a moment, trying to formulate the right words. The last thing he wants is to be insensitive. “Are you uncomfortable? If we’re taking things too far or too fast, or you’d prefer not to do anything sexual, I’m okay with that.”

Ed stares at him like he’s grown a second head. “You just fucked my face and now you’re asking that?”

Roy winces. “I suppose that’s one way to put it… I just can’t but wonder if you’re forcing yourself.”

Ed arches an eyebrow. “Did you not hear me moaning like a whore, or…?”

Roy rolls his eyes, “Really, Ed, that’s not what I’m talking about… you… you never want me to reciprocate. Are you… not interested in sex? If so, that’s not a problem, I just want to know and it’s important that you understand you don’t owe me anything-”

“Of course I’m interested, I don’t even know where you’d get that idea, I could suck your dick for hours and not be tired of it.”

Roy’s hand gently comes up to Ed’s chin and directs his eyes toward his. Ed gulps. Roy’s expression has gone all soft and concerned, and Ed doesn’t like it at all. “Then, what is it? You jump away every time I get close. Are you… scared of me? Has someone hurt you?”

Ed’s eyes go wide. “No! No, that’s not it, it’s just…”

Roy’s brows furrow further. “Then what is it?”

“I’m just… I don’t want you to see me.” Ed says it fast, eyes scrunched closed.

“Why ever not? You’re gorgeous, Ed… is this about your arm and leg? Or your scars? You know I don’t care about that kind of thing. It’d be hypocritical, after all.” He gestures to the twisted scar marring his side.

Ed bites his lip. “I know, I know... it’s that a little bit I guess, but it’s more complicated than that. I don’t… I don’t want you to leave me when you see.”

By this point, Roy is hopelessly lost. “What on earth could you possibly show me that would make me want to leave you?”

Ed looks down, expression somber. “I guess you’ll find out sooner or later.”

He was stupid to think this could last forever. He steels himself, takes in a deep breath, and then begins to strip. This is the first time Roy will see him without clothing… hell, he hasn’t even taken off his shirt in front of the man, and they’ve been dating for half a year. If Ed’s fingers tremble as he begins taking off his shirt, Roy doesn’t say anything. Ed struggles to pull it off, his shirt getting caught a little on his automail. Once it’s finally off, Ed dares to glance up, but Roy’s expression hasn’t changed. Maybe… maybe he doesn’t get it yet? He supposes the scars across his chest could be from something else, after all. So Ed tries to stop his hands from shaking as he begins unbuttoning his pants. This part, this part is harder. He gets down to his underwear, and shoots another glance up. Still, Roy’s face is unreadable. Finally, Ed pulls off his boxers, fast, like ripping off a bandaid. This is it. Ed closes his eyes, waits for Roy to say something, waits for him to call him a liar. Waits for a fist in his face.

But it doesn’t come. Instead, a gentle hand presses to his cheek. “Ed… this is what you were afraid of showing me?” Ed nods, still not daring to open his eyes. “Why on earth would I leave you for being trans?”

Ed opens his eyes, blinking a little in disbelief. 

“You’re gorgeous. Even more so than I imagined.” Roy’s eyes roam over his body, taking in everything slowly. There’s an edge of hunger in his gaze. Finally, his eyes come to settle on Ed’s face. “This?” he gestures up and down, “this doesn’t change anything.”

Ed just stares back, confused. “I thought you’d punch me or something.”

Roy looks alarmed. “Why? Has that happened before?”

Ed just looks away, lips tight.

"Christ, Ed, of course I wouldn’t do that.” Roy’s hand is still warm on Ed’s cheek.

“How come you can just accept it so easily?”

“I guess I’ve had experience,” Roy admits, “growing up with a lot of girls who were trans and all. Chris took good care of them, and always saw to it that I did the same.”

Ed looks tentatively at Roy. “So… you still… you still want me?”

Roy stifles a laugh. “God, Ed, of course I still want you.” Roy punctuates this by very obviously glancing downwards between them. Ed’s eyes follow. Roy is already half-hard again, dick curved against his thigh.

“Oh.”

“So…” Roy says, “do you want to continue where we left off?”

“Yeah…” he pauses for a moment. “I don’t want you to treat me like a girl, though.”

Roy cocks his head to the side. “Ed, I couldn’t treat you like a girl if I tried. I'm not even sure what that means, anyways, and hell, Ed, you’re more of man than I’ll ever be.”

Ed lights up scarlet. “Shut up, you don’t mean that.”

“I’m afraid I do,” Roy says very seriously. “Ed, you’re the bravest, smartest, most loyal man I’ve ever met.”

Ed scoffs and chooses to ignore that statement. “Look, I don’t know how comfortable I am with…” he gesticulates vaguely with his hands and hopes Roy gets the point.

Roy just stares back. “You do know penetration isn’t the only way to have sex, right? There’s a lot more we can try.”

Ed turns red. “I don’t know, the only time I’ve really tried anything like that, that’s basically all we did.”

Roy looks at him in disbelief. “What, did he just stick it in and you went at it missionary style with no preparation?”

Ed looks away, embarrassed. “Essentially, yeah.” To be fair, he and Ling were barely fifteen at the time. Ed figures most fifteen year olds have embarrassingly bad sex.

“Well, I can assure you I didn’t have that in mind.” Roy smiles. “You don’t even have to bottom, if you don’t want to.”

“But how am I gonna fuck you? I don’t exactly have the right equipment.”

“You have two perfectly good hands, don’t you?” And the thought of Roy on his hands and knees, moaning around Ed’s hand, is enough to make Ed achingly hard at the thought. But…

“What if I want to, though?” Ed asks. “Bottom.”

“Then we can try that. But first thing’s first,” Roy says, “would you like to me to touch you?” Roy leans in real close, his breath tickling Ed’s ear. His deep, rough voice goes straight to Ed’s groin. “How bout I suck you off? How does that sound?”

“Fuck yeah.” Ed’s grin is a little wobbly, but it’s there. He’s still filled with apprehension when Roy begins to kiss against his hipbones, but the drag of his teeth is enough to make some of Ed’s worries melt away. Roy’s mouth is hot and perfect, tracing down his hips and around his thighs. He stops at a bandage on Ed’s right thigh.

“Testosterone injections?” he asks. His voice betrays no judgment, just curiosity.

“Yeah,” Ed says, “three years now.”

Roy just hums in acknowledgement and places a light kiss there before moving between Ed’s legs. He nips against the soft skin he finds there, sucks red marks into flesh. Once Ed’s shaking for more, Roy looks up. His eyes are dark with want through his eyelashes. “Are you sure about this?” Ed nods, finding he feels more certain that he ever thought he’d be.

“Yeah. Get on with it already.”

Well, Roy can’t say no to that. Suddenly, there’s warm, wet heat on Ed’s clit as Roy cautiously presses his tongue flat against him. Ed moans immediately, left hand automatically finding Roy’s hair and tangling his fingers in it. Roy takes that as a sign to continue and sucks him into his mouth roughly before dragging back and flicking his tongue expertly against the tip. Ed’s practically seeing stars and Roy’s just getting started. He didn’t know this could be so _good_. He lets himself get lost in the sensation, in his love for this man.

Roy laves his tongue up his folds, pressing hard against him. Ed lets out soft noise of approval, hand stroking Roy’s hair. Roy pauses a minute to come up for breath. “Can I go lower, or not today?” He asks.

Ed stills for a moment, thinking. “…yeah, I think that’d be alright.”

Roy grins that cocky grin of his, the one that makes Ed want to smack it off his face and kiss him at the same time, and he settles back between Ed’s thighs to begin again. He sucks lightly before dragging his tongue lower, against Ed’s entrance. It feels good, not as good as when he’s on his clit, though – But suddenly Roy presses in with his tongue, and it’s a whole hell of a lot better. Both of Ed’s hands are in Roy’s hair now, and he tries to be gentle, especially with the automail, but his knuckles are white and trembling and Roy is just so good. He fucks him open with his tongue lazily, slowly, as if they’ve got all the time in the world. Roy’s hand comes up to toy with Ed’s clit, the pad of his thumb rough and delicious against him.

Ed could come like this, he realizes, but he almost doesn’t want to. Part of him wants Roy inside him, he realizes, but he feels a little stupid for that and oh god, what kind of man wants to be fucked like that, and what if Roy thinks he’s just a girl after all, and now Ed is tensing up and covering his face with his hands and– Roy pulls back, brow furrowed.

“Are you okay?” Fuck him for being so perceptive and perfect. Ed pulls his hands away from his face. “Yeah, yeah, it’s just…” Ed finds the words spilling from his lips against his will.

“I kinda want you inside me and I feel kind of pathetic for that and what if I’m not man enough, yknow?” It all comes out in one big rush, jumbled and messy. Ed can’t meet Roy’s eyes.

Roy looks at him pointedly. “Edward, enjoying a particular sexual act doesn’t have anything to do with who you are as a person. I like to get fucked, too. Does that make me any less of a man?”

The bastard is right, as per usual. Pisses Ed off. “Of course not.”

“Then, do you want to try this?” Roy asks, and just then presses a finger against Ed’s entrance, barely prodding in. Ed nods, trying to be more confident than he feels. “If you’re sure, I’d be happy to oblige, but I don’t want you to try anything before you’re ready.”

“Come on, bastard, don’t go all soft on me. We don’t got all night.”

“Technically, we do.” Roy smirks, and right then his finger presses inside and Ed stifles a moan. Fucking prick. He always knows exactly what he’s doing.

The sensation of Roy’s hands is a little alien at first but not unwelcome. Ed’s not really used to this. He jacks off, yeah, but not usually there. So when Roy’s finger curves inside him and hits something really good, Ed’s caught off guard.

“Roy,” he hisses, hands clenching in the sheets.

Roy laughs a little, teasing. “I’ll take it that you like it.”

“Fuck, yeah, can you give me more?”

Roy grins. “Think you can handle it?”

“Is that a challenge?”

Roy laughs again, and instead of responding, presses another finger into him. That’s better, Ed thinks. He’s impossibly wet by now, Roy’s fingers making sloppy sounds as he fucks him faster. Roy’s fingers twist and curl inside him just right, and Ed’s hips cant up to meet him. By the time Roy adds a third finger, Ed is practically ready to sob. He feels so full already, and he can’t imagine what it’ll be like when Roy’s inside. He feels his mouth watering at the thought. Roy’s still fucking him hard and fast when he presses his face down along with his hand and sucks Ed’s clit into his mouth, softly teasing with his teeth. It’s too much and not enough all at once, and before he even has a chance to think, Ed’s coming, hard, thrashing in the sheets. Roy pulls his mouth back but still fucks him through it. His left hand rubs soothing circles in to his hip.

“That’s it, good boy…” he whispers, and fuck, Ed’s never come that hard in his life.

Ed throws an arm over his eyes, panting. “Fuck, Roy.”

“That is the idea.”

Ed smacks his arm, no heat to it, and grins. He pulls his arm away and props himself up against the pillows. “Well, what’s next?”

Roy sits back on his thighs, and Ed can’t help but notice his dick, standing proudly at attention. Precome leaks from the flushed tip. Ed feels a swell of pride for a moment – he did that. Roy finds him attractive. Roy likes him—likes him a lot, if his reaction is anything to go by. He’s never really felt this wanted before. There’s always something – if it’s not the scars and stumps, it’s his what’s in his pants. But Roy? Roy makes him feel a little less broken, maybe even a little beautiful.

“Do you want me in you now?” Roy asks, hand coming to rest on his dick.

Ed grins wide. “Yeah, I think I do.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Hell yeah,” Ed says and tries to tug Roy closer. Roy laughs.

“Give me a moment first.” He turns and half crawls to the bedside table, where he grabs a condom from the drawer. He rips it open carefully before dragging it down his length and pinching the tip. He takes a moment to settle back in between Ed’s thighs. Ed is practically shaking with impatience.

Finally, finally, Roy rubs the head of his cock against Ed’s oversensitive clit, and Ed whimpers. “You look so good like this, underneath me,” Roy says, dick poised against Ed’s entrance. Ed rocks shallowly forward in an attempt to get him inside faster. Roy grins, lines himself up just right, and slowly pushes in.

It’s a lot. Roy’s pretty big, all things considered, and it’s a lot more than three fingers could have prepared him for. Ed tenses a little, squeezing around him, and Roy moans.

“Remember to relax,” Roy manages between pants. It’s clear he’s holding himself back, face contorted in an expression somewhere between bliss and pain and need.

“I’m tryin’ here,” Ed responds.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

So Roy moves, and Ed wonders why he ever worried about doing this. Roy is hot and thick inside him and his fingers are clenched into Ed’s hips. Roy thrusts deep into him, but slow and gentle, to get him accustomed. Ed growls.

“C’mon, faster,” Ed demands. He emphasizes his point by thrusting forward, hips meeting Roy’s. Roy responds with a groan.

“Your wish is my command.”

Roy’s thrusting into him in earnest now, fast and hard and sloppy just how Ed wants. Ed’s obscenely wet around him, practically dripping onto the the sheets. Roy’s hand comes up to rub Ed’s clit in time with his thrusts, and Ed’s vision goes fuzzy. He’s dizzy with pleasure, and god, he doesn’t want it to stop, but he’s on the edge way too soon for his liking and he can barely hold on. And then Roy is repositioning them slightly, pressing Ed’s thighs down to come flush with his chest, and the stretch in his legs burns a little but now Roy is even deeper and Ed’s shuddering with each and every thrust. Roy’s bracing his arms on either side of Ed now and Ed sorely misses the contact on his clit, so he gracelessly jams a hand between them and rubs frantically in time with Roy’s movements. Their faces are close like this; Roy is a sight to behold above him, brow sheening with sweat from exertion, eyes dark and liquid with want, hair slightly disheveled yet annoying perfect even mid-fuck. Roy’s staring at him now, and it’s strangely intimate in a way that Ed’s never experienced before. He wants to capture this moment somehow, make it last forever – just Roy and him, as close as physically possible, all messy and warm and broken in the best of ways.

But it can't last forever. Roy’s thrusts are viciously good, and Ed feels a pressure building up within him. Searing pleasure cuts through him. His is gut hot and tight, and he feels something coming, but he can’t pinpoint exactly _what_ \--

“Roy!” Ed cries brokenly, clenching around him, and suddenly Ed’s gushing, come squirting everywhere, drenching Roy and making a soggy mess out of the sheets. Roy makes a startled sound in the back of his throat that’s halfway between surprise and pleasure, and now he’s coming, too, dick pulsing inside Ed. Ed moans low, almost painfully oversensitive, as Roy drags out of him wetly.

“Holy fuck,” Ed manages after catching his breath. “What the fuck was that?”

“That, Ed,” Roy says as pulls off his condom and ties it off, “was incredible.”

“No, I mean, at the end,” Ed clarifies, face practically burning bright red from embarrassment. “When I, yknow…” he makes a vague gesture indicating the sticky mess splashed between them. “I didn’t even know that could happen.”

“It’s generally called squirting. Not exactly rare, but it’s not common, either,” Roy says, “regardless, it was exceptionally attractive.”

“I guess,” Ed says, “but your sheets are practically ruined.”

“Worth it.”

“Yeah,” Ed says, “it really was.”

Roy smiles, and wraps his arms around Ed, kissing him soundly.

“That went a hell of a lot better than I expected this conversation to go,” Ed says when Roy pulls away.

“I sure hope so,” Roy says, and after a moment adds, “I’m still sorry I made you think that I’d react any other way. I’m absolutely head over heels for you, Edward Elric, and nothing could change that.”

Ed flushes bright red. “Yeah, yeah, we get it, you’re a big old sap, now come back here and kiss me.”

Roy doesn’t need to be told twice.

* * *

 

In the morning, Ed wakes up to a text from Al.

_I’m assuming you told Roy and it apparently went pretty great. Congratulations! Can you maybe bare your next deep, dark secret at his apartment? The cats and I couldn’t sleep last night. Love you!_

**Author's Note:**

> and that's all folks! i'd really appreciate any comments you have!


End file.
